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June 28, 2005
Capital of the World!
Someday, maybe after gas prices drop or our little Jetta runs on vegetable oil, I want to take a very special road trip: a "Captial of the World!" driving tour.
Thus far, I have only been through two "Capitals of the World!" Deep, deep down south, in Tifton, GA, you'll find "The Reading Capital of the World!" and over on the other side of Lookout Mountain you can drive through "The Sock Capital of the World!" These "Capitals of the World!" illustrate my two secret joys in such proclamations: incongruity of place (Tifton), and inanity of achievement (Fort Payne).
ePodunk is going to help me plan my dream capital-cruising vacation. For the husband's sake, we'll undoubtedly spend some time in Bardstown, KY, "The Bourbon Capital of the World!" And then, for some further indulgence, we'll pass through Washington, MO, "The Corn Cob Pipe Capital of the World!"
We will avoid Claxton, GA, and all its fruitcake, and Noel will want to steer clear of Kennet Square, PA, and its mushrooms. But maybe, if we're feeling particularly German, we'll investigate the mysteries of bratwurst in Sheboygan, WI. And we're definitely lounging around the "Ice Cream Capital of the World!" in Le Mars, IA.
We would be amiss if we skipped over the "Fire Hydrant Capital of the World!" in Albertville, AL, and I think Tarpon Springs, FL, the "Sponge Capital of the World!" sounds just scintillating. I'm pretty sure that visiting both the "Cow Chip Throwing Captial of the World!" (Beaver, OR) and the "Cherry Pit Spitting Capital of the World" (Eau Claire, MI) will provide excellent teaching examples of the laws of the physics. And it really is of utmost importance that I see the "Troll Capital of the World!" in Mount Horeb, WI, because I can't quite believe that such a thing exists.
These sweet incongruities and inanities beg the question: how does a city get to claim "Capital of the World!" status?
Carefully Dramatized Life Accounts | By elissa | 06:31 PM
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Comments
Let's not forget that Tifton also claims to be the Turfgrass capital of the world (http://www.readingcapital.com/article20.html). This claim is disputed, however, as Savannah, GA also advertises the title. I was once with a group of friends coming back to Chattanooga from a trivia tournament at UFlorida, and we just had to stop in Tifton. The signs along the interstate were too much for us to handle with all of their claims of Tifton's greatness like "A high speed internet community!" and "Home of Agrirama!" It was a Sunday, so the downtown area was completely deserted except for one building. The public library had a line out of the door. It was a very odd site, kindof creepy, really. Maybe they really do read more than the rest of the world.
Posted by: Wally at June 29, 2005 09:40 AM
epodunk. Wow. A bit...obsessive. And inane, in the same way as the towns it profiles in TMI depth.
Never underestimate the power of a overly-cliche-driven Chamber of Commerce.
Posted by: Noel at June 29, 2005 11:36 AM
How about a stop in the center of the known world, capital of the entire country, home to Ellis Chaplin . . . the one and only Washington D.C.
Posted by: Ellis at June 29, 2005 04:11 PM
Wally: Yikes, that "line out of library door" tale is a little eery. Maybe I'm not giving Tifton enough credit!
Noel: Did you see that Hawaii was ranked third in a 2002 list of "Best Cities for Women"? I don't know if it means that it's good for women to live in or if it has the best women to marry. Hmm.
Ellis: Actually, you were the 2003 "Most Literate City," so I guess we can squeeze you in.
Posted by: elissa at June 29, 2005 04:48 PM
I thought New York was the capital of the world, if only because it has the U.N.
And Noel likes bourbon? Man, I respect that. Alot.
Posted by: JosiahQ at June 29, 2005 05:20 PM
Is your Jetta a TDI? If so, it will run on vegetable oils. I have read somewhere that some people don't even process it. They really do just carefully strain used deep-fryer oil and put it right in the tank. I'm a little cautious about that, but:
Benton Oil retails 20% Biodiesel (B20) at its Midnite Oil station on the corner of Bonny Oaks and Jersey Pike. It's typically a nickel or so cheaper than the best full-Diesel pump prices around town, and it will clean off your engine parts. (Changing the fuel filter is a very small one-time thing that you'll have to do after the scrubbing gets going, and then it's all good after that.)
Didn't mean to threadjack, but you mentioned..
Posted by: joe at June 29, 2005 07:35 PM
Josiah: Yes, Noel likes Bourbon, and a large chunk of the credit goes to Walker Percy.
Joe: Yes, we have a TDI. Ever since we purchased her, Noel has been telling me that the moment her warranty expires she's switching to vegetable oil. I was a little worried that we might not be able to get very far on a road trip since biodiesel isn't that popular a commodity yet, but the husband set me straight.
Posted by: elissa at June 30, 2005 10:35 AM
