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January 06, 2006
I Just Got Served...by Owen Wilson
Accompanied by our valuable gift certificate, Noel and I celebrated our first anniversary at Southside Grill last night. Since it was a Thursday night, business was quiet, and much of the dining area had been partitioned off, creating a smaller, intimate space for the sprinkling of customers. We were seated at a back table, near four other couples, all of whom had a good forty or so years on us.
And then, he appeared. "He" being Owen Wilson.
Well, if not Owen himself, then a man who bore a striking resemblance to the actor. Not the splitting image, mind you, but he possessed all salient features, from the small eyes and narrow nose to the lanky frame and wavy blond hair. He said something to us, some pleasantry, some polite inquiry, but I comprehended nothing. He sounded like Owen Wilson as well. The nasal tone, the pauses...it was all there.
It was beyond distracting.
Perhaps the actor Owen Wilson is a sophisticated and polite conversationalist off-screen, but his onscreen persona and the calm, deferential demeanor of this waiter tussled incongruently in my mind. The Southside Owen drifted about the room, materializing silently when needed with a crooked smile. I heard Owen discussing gourmet pizza with a woman enveloped in a salmon-colored shawl. He expounded knowledgably on a wine he was pouring at another table. He had a delightful exchange with the couple seated right next to us:
"I'd like to have this boxed up, please," the older gentlemen requested.
"Of course, sir."
"And the bone too. But in a different box. It's for our neighbor's dog."
Politely laughing, Owen replied, "Oh, you don't have to explain."
"But it's the truth," inserted the older but still sprightly wife. "If he doesn't give that dog a bone, it'll bite!"
Secretly, I was a little disappointed. The real Owen would have said something grossly inappropriate and hugely funny at that moment. I mean, I wanted to chime in, "Cool story, Hansel." Still, this Owen was a real charmer. That same lady was celebrating her birthday, and Owen promised to do something special for it. "Do you think he'll put a sombrero on her head, sing happy birthday, and then spray whip cream in her face?" I asked Noel. He patted my hand gently and told me "no."
He was right. "Special" meant adding a candle to the sorbet. No song. No dance. And yet, when the lady expressed her relief at the lack of hubbabaloo, I thought I detected a hint of regret when Owen replied, "No, they won't let us sing."
Somehow, this made me feel more at peace with the entire situation. We left Owen a nice tip.
Carefully Dramatized Life Accounts | By elissa | 02:14 PM
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Comments
I once visited a church where the pastor was Owen Wilson, so to speak. Talk about distracting...the entire sermon I imagined that he was really hiding from the law and using the cloth as a cover.
Posted by: ashley sue at January 6, 2006 03:47 PM
I know a pastor who looks like Owen Wilson, too. His name is Dustin and he's a PCA pastor in the Tampa area... Yeah, kind of strange to hear him preach.
Posted by: Rebekah at January 6, 2006 04:36 PM
yeah, hi... that new blog is me, though not in Ireland yet... still raising money... I like your blog. Say hi to Noel, bye.
Posted by: luca at January 6, 2006 04:54 PM
Okay, you girls win. Hearing Owen preach is far more distracting than having him wait on you at a fancy restaurant.
Posted by: elissa at January 6, 2006 05:04 PM
Bekah- I bet it is the same pastor! I saw him when I went to church in Tampa w/ KC.
Posted by: ashley sue at January 6, 2006 05:05 PM
hi! this is john aka "southside owen". i'm glad you both had an memorable evening at southside grill celebrating your anniversary. i did want to say several innappropriate things that night and most nights. i have to bite my tongue often. i do not so much regret the fact they won't let me sing, but that they will not let me table dance! thank you for your comparisons of me to the great owen wilson. if i had known i even slightly resembled him, i wouldn't have cut my hair short the very next day! hope to see you again at southside soon.
john
Posted by: john aka owen at January 7, 2006 02:18 PM
Man, if you are to be believed, then I'm certainly glad I didn't say anything mean about you, John/Owen. I'm also relieved that you took the comparison as a compliment. We did have a great -- if slightly surreal -- time at Southside.
Posted by: elissa at January 7, 2006 03:06 PM
you can believe me. your gift certificate was for $50. you had the special of crab cakes and grilled free range chicken while your date had the pork chops or short ribs. you also had the sorbet with a candle in it. while you said your night was surreal it was certainly memorable as best i can tell.
thanks, john
Posted by: john at January 7, 2006 03:48 PM
wow. :)
Posted by: hannah s. at January 10, 2006 09:36 PM
He's not as confident as he looks.
Posted by: mesh at January 12, 2006 01:10 PM
