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March 28, 2006
Roommates... in the Lord
Being known is a life-giving thing.
Our culture has great expectations for college friendships. These friendships, you are told, are the ones that will last forever. These are the friends you tell stories about for the rest of your life. And yet, forming these fabled relationships can be a bit tricky. In one sense, you become extraordinarily close, extraordinarily quickly because you seemingly cannot escape each other. You eat the same meals, share a bathroom, and see each other in pajamas. You begin to know every detail of each other’s daily life. But that’s where the struggle lies as well – you only know the details of daily life. College students are very much out of context. They are thrust into an entirely different location and mode of life, surrounded by strangers who know nothing of their past.
For some, this is exciting – a chance to recreate themselves however they want! For me, it was inordinately frustrating. I wanted people to know why I was who I was; I wanted them to know my family and my life long friends; I wanted them to know all the little victories in my life; I even wanted them to know my failures. Something, anything, that would hint at the grace that formed my person. Somehow, I forgot that I was still living -- still achieving, still falling, still being broken and rebuilt.
Into this new muck of life entered the girls who would become my roommates, walking with me, crying with me, confronting me, and affirming me. And then, suddenly, there were more of us, more than could live in just one or two rooms. Beth called us "Roommates in the Lord."
As I sat in Rachel and April's living room this past weekend, watching Betsy open pink bridal shower gift after pink bridal shower gift, I was surrounded again by some of the girls who know me best. Ironically, "being known" so well actually changed me. In many ways, my exuberant, tearful, honest, messy, confusing, giddy relationships with the Roommates in the Lord prepared me for marriage. I don't think that I actually knew *how* to love with such willing and self-aware commitment until I was loved by these girls. To different degrees and in different capacities, we pushed and waded and skipped through broken hearts, broken bodies, uncertain futures, dark pasts, academic trauma, new love, confused love, inside jokes, ridiculous stories, and personal victories. Now, three of us are married and two more are engaged. We have new, "grown up" lives in education, politics, counseling, recruitment, drama, and ministry. And, soon, we'll be proud aunts of the first Roomates in the Lord baby.
I suppose it would all be a sappy, Hallmark-worthy thing...if only it weren't so full of continuing aches, struggles, and questions. But, this is real. The hurt only reaffirms our reality as needy women at the foot of the Cross, the only place where we can ever be fully known.
Faith | By elissa | 07:10 AM
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Comments
Hope it went well this weekend! miss you lots!!
I am glad I got to know you at school, thanks for letting me in on your world. You will always be my nani.
love you always, bell
Posted by: Bell at March 28, 2006 04:38 PM
Elissa,
Thank you for helping to sum up last weekend...the barrage of thoughts were constant and are still fresh. Events like that(with so many of us there at the same time) happen, it is such a great reminder of where we all came from, who we are now, and how beautiful Heaven will be with everyone there!! I loved your comments so much that I printed it off and put it on one of my noteboards. Being able to be "real" is such an uncommon occurance these days..it was definitly good to be among "roomates in the Lord"-just so relaxing for the soul!
I loved seeing you this past weekend!
love-beth
Posted by: beth at April 2, 2006 12:12 AM
Elissa,
Thank you for helping to sum up last weekend...the barrage of thoughts were constant and are still fresh. Events like that(with so many of us there at the same time) happen, it is such a great reminder of where we all came from, who we are now, and how beautiful Heaven will be with everyone there!! I loved your comments so much that I printed it off and put it on one of my noteboards. Being able to be "real" is such an uncommon occurance these days..it was definitly good to be among "roomates in the Lord"-just so relaxing for the soul!
I loved seeing you this past weekend!
love-beth
Posted by: beth at April 2, 2006 12:14 AM
