June 26, 2006

Dear John: Breaking Up With IT Recruiters

Note: This won't make any sense unless you read the post below.

Dear Erin/Erica/Vanessa/Abby/Lisa/Lonnie,

This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. These last few weeks have been the best of my entire life. I have loved all our brief, stolen conversations and our endless e-mailed exchanges. Now, when I close my eyes, I can still hear you asking me, with sweet confusion, if I know what SQL means.

But, ______, I have to tell you honestly: you and I just won't work. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, especially since you kept saying that things were going so well. And it's not you, really, it's me. I am looking for some security, and I found that somewhere else. Her name is Northrup Grumman. I needed someone who would commit to me, not just make me empty promises and ask a lot of questions.

We can't speak anymore, ______. I will be moving nearby, but it would be best if you did not contact me. We need to make a clean break. I'm sure you will find another young IT professional who needs you more truly and dearly. You are a wonderful IT Recruiter.

Take care of yourself, and good luck.

Sincerely,
- N.D. Weichbrodt

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May 25, 2006

Pink Cover, Script Font

The latest issue of In Style had a helpful Summer Book Roundup. You know, sizzling chick lit to read poolside. Quality selections included:

The Girls - "Ever wonder what life is like for Siamese twins? Meet fictionalized 29 year old Ruby and Rose Darlen, who are joined at the head but are hardly of the same mind."

The Whole World Over - "If you've ever dreamed of moving out west and starting over, this pastry chef's story will inspire."

And so on.

So, I decided: if all my grand art criticism plans fail to materialize, I'll just write chick lit. I mean, I've never actually read a bona fide, contemporary, high-estrogen novel, but I think I have the formula down:

Set of Five - San Francisco stationary designer Luci has just been unceremoniously dumped by her CEO husband. With a huge deadline for her next card line looming, there couldn't be a worse time for learning to live the simple life. But when Luci's sister, a stay-at-home mother of five, takes the new divorcee under her wing, Luci finds inspiration where she least expects it.

Lift and Separate - When Jacquelyn moved from Wichita to Manhattan, she was determined to be daring. But after two years in the Big Apple, Jaq is still working a dead-end job in a nubby brown sweater and Birkenstocks. When she hears that Charles, her college ex-boyfriend, is moving to town she decides that a drastic change is in order: an overdue city life and style makeover. Can she learn to strut in Jimmy Choos in just two weeks?

Dry - Chloe, a twenty-eight year old Harvard law grad, is far from pleased when her firm packs her off to Texas to do some research for an upcoming oil case. Once there, however, she meets Trent, a charming, dedicated wildcatter, a man quite skilled at finding promise in the most unlikely of places...

This could be lucrative.

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April 24, 2006

My Green Onion Was On Steroids

my green onion is on steroids

Last year I planted green onions in our back yard. If this sounds impressive...it wasn't. I just let the leftover ends of store-bought green onions soak in some water to kick-start the roots and then shoved the little guys into the ground.

They've always been hearty fellows. I had a continuous supply of green onions all fall and winter long. Then, earlier this spring, I noticed something unusual: one of the plants was getting bigger. Not just growing new, slender shoots, mind you. He was increasing significantly in height and girth.

At first I wondered... steroids? But I couldn't believe that such a fresh, green thing would dabble in something so dangerous. Then, other things started to happen. His face started to swell; if he had a voice it probably would have started squeaking; other bulges developed.

nickel width

I tried to talk to it. I tried to tell him that it wasn't worth the personal risk just to be the biggest green onion in the garden. "You weren't meant to be this big," I told him. But he ignored me...and kept growing.

Then, the mood swings started. I woke up one morning and he had tipped dangerously low to the right. I tried to straighten him out, as best I could, but he just overcompensated and swung to the left. I told him he needed to think about seeing a counselor.

It was too late.

Last night, we found him, collapsed, broken by his own unnatural size.

So... then we took a lot of pictures, used roughly one-sixteenth of him in an omelet, and plunked the remaining trunk into a waterbottle. Steroids get you nowhere, kids.

Really Big Green Onion.
September 2005-April 2006.
tall thin things

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March 23, 2006

Analogies from the Plum

Many folks are already familiar with the Worst Analogies Ever Written in a High School Essay contest that was hosted by the Washington Post Style Invitational a few years ago. I love that list of analogies. I read it whenever I'm feeling a bit blue.

On particularly desolate days, I need something a bit stronger. Or, rather, someone. There are times when only a Wodehousian analogy from the Plum himself will suffice. Observe, in no particular order:

  1. She now looked like a tomato struggling for self expression.
  2. The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotton to say 'When'! -- Very Good, Jeeves
  3. I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanor was rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the down express in the small of the back.
  4. Her laugh was like the Scotch express entering a tunnel.
  5. She gave a sort of despairing gesture, like a vicar’s daughter who has discovered Erastianism in the village. -- Laughing Gas
  6. Freddie experianced the sort of abysmal soul sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's peasents when, after putting in a heavy days work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city resorvoir, he turns to the cupboard, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
  7. In repose, it has a sort of meditative expression, as if she were a pure white soul thinking beautiful thoughts, and, when animated, so dashed animated that it boosts the morale to just look at her. Her eyes are a kind of browny-hazel and her hair rather along the same lines. The general effect is of an angel who eats a lot of yeast. -- The Mating Season

Lovely. Is PG Wodehouse in the canon?

(Even more fun can be found in this alt.wodehouse list appendix.)

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March 13, 2006

Making the Private Public (Discourse)

My supervising professor and I had a bit of a verbal a few weeks ago. He said that written accounts of personal experiences -- particularly in the vein of "my life was like such and such and now it's so much better" -- were useless as pieces of public discourse. Such writing, he argued, is only good for the writer's personal expression. It does not give the audience anything to do...other than perhaps become jealous or jaded.

He's right, of course, in his observation that many a "testimony time" devolves into a perverted challenge to one-up other folks with the extent and severity of one's own trials and sins. And I suppose he's also correct in saying that a lot of undergraduate "personal experience" writing falls far short of even a broad definition of "public discourse." But I wanted to argue for a place, albeit a limited one, for the personal essay to live in the public realm. "Maybe when I'm older," I told him, "I'll agree completely with you. But right now I'm young, and I need it."

In their "Modern Love" column, the New York Times ran an essay entitled Two Decembers: Loss and Redemption" (you have to pay for the article now, but you can read a copy of it here). When the author, Anne Marie Feld, was sixteen, her mother committed suicide. In precise, evocative sentences, Feld's essay recounts her mother's last day, the painful uncovering of her mother's hidden mental problems, and Feld's attempt to distance herself from the ordeal. It's written faithfully... not dramatically, not emotionally, not self-pityingly. Redemption comes when Feld gives birth to her own daughter almost twenty years to the day after her mother's suicide. She ends, "But when they finally returned her raw, chickenlike body to me after bathing her, my first thought was that she looked like my mother."

After reading that essay for the first time, I felt more human. You see, I'm only twenty-four. My hurt, my losses, my triumphs, and my relationships have all been real...but they've also been thoe of a young woman who grew up on a small island and who went to college on a small mountain. I'll be the first to admit that my slice of life-participation has been a narrow one.

Essays like Feld's -- authentic, thoughtful, and well-written reflections on private experiences -- let me ache or rejoice in a new way. They let me be baffled about tensions I did not know existed. They let me struggle with temptations I have never faced. They let me mourn for people I did not know. They let me marvel at places I have not traveled.

Novels can often incite the same catharsis, of course. But, to me, there's something transparent and intimate about the short, focused, personal essay. So much life is compressed into a few short pages and explodes when read by a curious mind. In this thing, at least, I do not think I would mind being old before my time.

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February 13, 2006

Kaleo Conference on Gender and the Chuch: Gender and the Arts

The "faculty forum" on Gender and the Arts brought together art professors Jeff Morton and Kaybe Carpenter with English professors Pat Ralston, Gwen Macallister, Clif Foreman, and Jim Wildeman. Each gave a brief (okay, so Morty's wasn't that brief) statement and then the panel entertained questions from the audience.

Morton began by giving a brief visual history of 20th century feminist art. During a time when "pure form," minimalism, and literalism was all the rage, women artists reintroduced the body and the personal to art. Feminism, Morton argued, "can teach us something about how the Word became flesh." We have a God who is both God and human, and there is something significant in how that affirms the body. There is something about being human and exploring our differences.

Wildeman barked, "Imagine a life that you can live." When pressed to expand on this idea, he explained his fascination with Charlotte Bronte's novel Jane Eyre and how, in his view, it allows young women to imagine a life that they could live, a life where the heroine turns down two different men, once for moral reasons and once because her suitor "could not love her as she deserved to be loved." Reading such things, Wildeman argued, allows a young woman to say, "I can choose a path that is unpopular in my circles, but the important thing in the end is my integrity."

Ralston related some of her experiences in teaching Medieval and Renaissance Writers for the first time. Students, male and female, were amazed and skeptical that there were actually enough quality female authors during this time period to merit an entire course on their work. Through the course of the semester, Ralston was encouraged, however, by her students willingness to open the canon and to explore and champion these "hidden" writers. Too many students, Ralston said, think that feminism began in the 1960s and that it is a four letter word. The reality, though, is that many women throughout history have championed the cause of free speech and expression and development for women. We can all be taught by and find delight in these writings. The common notion is that we read in order to join the human race. If we want a clearer picture of the human race and hope to understand it in its wholeness, we need to be listening to the voices of men and women from the past and encouraging the publishing of women's voices from the past.

Carpenter began by framing the value of art. We know things by our experience, she said, and writers and artists give us a picture of experiences that we ourselves may never have. Thus, we need to hear (or see) women speak because it gives us a fuller picture of the human experience. Furthermore, the images that artists are creating affect what we expect of ourselves as men and women. The arts, whether we realize it or not, affects our views of gender and identity.

Macallister echoed Ralston and Carpenter, relating her own story of teaching 20th Century American literature and having a male student complain over how "many" female authors he had been required to read. (Four). She emphasized, too, the significance of reconsidering the canon.

Foreman mused on the strange contradiction that appears when we consider male and female writers: if women are generally considered to have superior verbal skills to men, then why have there been so many great male writers, given the fact that they are handicapped? He answered his own question. "Mainly because of a longstanding affirmative action program. We men engineered it so that we men got a better education than the women had... But, as we all know, affirmative action really doesn't work well." There have been a number of women writers that have snuck through and established themselves at being important in the American tradition (Anne Bradstreet, Phyllis Wheatly, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Emily Dickinson, etc.) So what do men do with the fact that some women have slipped through? They redefine literature so that writing by women can no longer considered "literary." For example, sentimentalism was painted as a cardinal sin of true literature. Women were essentially defined-out of the American canon. Foreman also made an interesting connection between our American "frontier culture" and American writer's inordinate fondness for writing about men. Thus, you have the likes of Washington Irving, Herman Melville, and Mark Twain, among others. Nathaniel Hawthore is an exception to this tendency, but his female characters were still tightly contained within the traditions of the "pure white maiden" or the "evil temptress." Not until Edith Wharton and Willa Cather did we begin to get great female characters. These characters are important because of what they teach us about ourselves as humans.

Though only a few of the questions that followed these statements were directly related to questions of the arts, one did stand out. A young woman asked, "How would you advise young women who are hoping to engage or become successful in the arts?" Carpenter answered, frankly, that sacrifice will be demanded. It's necessary, then, to define what success means to you. Is it being shown at the Whitney or balancing a productive career with motherhood? Most of the women at the top of the arts are either divorced or single and they rarely have children. Dr. Kapic, from the audience, made the helpful point here that men who are at the top of their disciplines often also sacrifice (or ignore) a family life. The issue of sacrificing marriage and family for the sake of career is not a question only for women. It is complicated, however, by the fact that motherhood is tied so closely to womanhood, while fatherhood is not considered a major component of masculinity. (I have more thoughts on this that will likely develop in a later post...)


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Kaleo Conference on Gender and the Chuch: Keynote 2

Kaleo Conference on Gender and the Church
Covenant College
February 11, 2006

Frank James gave the second keynote address, unpacking the history of gender and the church. The "more serious the discussion and the debate," he prefaced, "the more important it is to have some sense of historical context." To this end, he began by reading a series of quotes about women from the early, medieval, and reformation church fathers. These were not inspiring words.

The Early Church on Women:
Origin: "Women are worse than animals because they are continually full of lust."

Tertullian: "You are the devil's gateway, you are the first deserter of the divine law, you destroyed so easily God's image: man." And also, "Mankind, not woman, is made in the image of God.

Augustine: "I don't see what sort of help woman was created to provide man, if one excludes procreation. If the woman is not given to man to bear children, for what help could she be? To till the earth? If man needed help for that, man would have been a better help for man. The same goes for comfort and solitude. How much better for two men to live together..." And also, "For woman is not the image of God. Man alone is the image of God."

At a regional theological conference in France, Catholic bishops and laymen came together to decide this question: "Are women human?" In the end, they voted, 32-31, in favor of the fact that women were human.

The Medevial Church on Women
Aquinas: "A woman cannot be trusted... prudent men, therefore, tell their wives as little as possible about their plans. A woman is a botched male and by comparison with him she possesses a defective nature. In short, one should be on guard against any woman as against a poisonous snake."

Otto of Clooney: "To embrace a woman is to embrace a sack of manure."

James paused here to make a caveat: there are always good men out there who do love their wives, but this is a discussion of the trends. And, as we entered the Reformation period, three major trends were evident:
1) women were routinely viewed as seductresses -- dangerous
2) women were inferior by nature
3) women are not made in the image of God

The Reformation Fathers on Women
Luther: "Although Eve was a most extraordinary creature, similar to Adam so far as the image of God is concerned, that is, in justice, wisdom, and happinesss, she was nevertheless a woman. For as the sun is more excellent than the moon (although the moon, too, is a very excellent body), so the woman, although she was a most beautiful work of God, nevertheless was not the equal of the male in glory and prestige.

Calvin: "Woman was created in the image of God but in a second degree."

At this point, the audience was reeling. Yet, as James pointed out, as Christians we are morally obligated to tell the truth even when the truth hurts. In this discussion, we will not be able to make progress unless we tell ourselves the truth. From these quotes, James drew several helpful observations.

First, history reminds us that all our heroes are flawed. The history of the church is full of examples of heroes with feet of clay. The Bible is profoundly honest about the frailty of the heroes of the faith. In the end, there is but one hero: the Lord Jesus Christ

Secondly, history reminds us that we have come a long way on the question of gender. At least we think women are image bearers now! Even better, we are no longer debating whether women are human. Given the history of the church, this is a big deal.

Third, history reminds us that Christian practice is often better than the principles that have been espoused. For example, although Augustine did not believe that women are not made in the image of God and saw her main role as a procreator, his autobiographical Confessions tell a seemingly contradictory story. It is a woman, his mother Monica, who played the central role in his life as a witness and spiritual warrior. Augustine specifically relates a time when he and his mother were praying together and had an extraordinary spiritual experience together, something that he always cherished. Martin Luther, too, said many harsh things about women. But, he loved his wife, Katie, dearly. Luther's whole conception of what marriage was changed the world. In fact, James suggested, "the reformation Luther wrought in the concept of marriage may have actually been greater than the revolution in doctrine." Luther stablished a new, non economic, reason for getting married: love. Furthermore, in his will, Luther makes Katie his executor, even though the practice of the time was to leave one's possessions to the nearest male relative. These men were often better in practice than principle.

Fourth, history reminds us that debate and controversy are not always bad. No one enjoys controversy, but God, in his mystery and wisdom has a way of using controversy to bring about advances for the kingdom. "God has made a practice in history of bringing light out of the darkness of controversy and debate."

Fifth, historically it seems that healthy debate enables us to ask more helpful questions For example, in the American church, the "racial" question has evolved radically over the last three centuries. It went from "Are African Americans property?" in the 1800's, to "Do they have the same civil rights as a white person?" in the 1960's, to "Can we blend our worship services and have African Americans and whites worshipping side by side in the same church?" Similarly, in the PCA, James said, our questions of gender have started to change: from "what are the limitations we place upon women in the local church?" to "What can women do?"

Sixth, and finally, history reminds us who the real enemy is. At this point, James may have been getting a little wired, because relating a post-Reformation controversy over the Lord's Supper he said, and I faithfully quote, "John Calvin got on his horsey," rode to Switzerland, and sat down with his counterpart in Zurich and came to an agreement, putting together a document that both could agree on. What motivated Calvin was the thought of how much he and this other man had in common versus the relatively small amount of differences. They also shared the same enemy.

James concluded, "In this discussion about gender, the enemy is not the complementarians or egalitarians, the ultimate enemy is the devil himself." We must not forget this in the midst of a serious debate that a spiritual battle is raging.

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February 12, 2006

Kaleo Conference on Gender and the Church: Historical and Sociological Dimensions

Kaleo Conference on Gender and the Church
Covenant College
February 11, 2006

History professor Dr. Jay Green and sociology professor Dr. Matt Vos did a joint presentation on the historical and sociological context for considering gender and the church. Professor Vos framed the discussion by noting that Covenant is not one big Bible department. Instead, there is a multiplicity of disciplines and in each the joint questions are: how can Scripture help us understand our disciplines and how can our disciplines help us understand Scripture? Punning Radio Shack, Vos quipped, "You have questions, we have more questions." Our disciplines have enabled the right questions to be asked.

Dr. Green continued by presenting what became the central theological insight of this debate: human beings live out their callings in God's world as time and space bound creatures. Theologians are unequal to tackling this question of gender and the church without addressing the time and space bound worlds we inhabit.

But where do rules and roles for masculinity and femininity come from? The traditional answer, still preferred among many evangelicals is biological essentialism. This view suggests that we operate in a fixed, non-negotiable order rooted in natural, biological distinctions between male and female. There is an irreducible essence that defines our identities as men or women. THus, certain pre-determined characteristics are seen as God-given and to transgress these rules is "not only anti-social but unnatural."

In recent decades, though, this idea was questioned as it became obvious that these "rules" seemed to vary based on ethnic identity, class status, location, etc. It was increasingly difficult to deny that ideas of man and womanhood have changed over time. That is, manhood and womanhood have histories. Now, it is generally accepted that conceptions of gender are socio-historio specific, created rather than rooted in some eternal ideal. Humans, then are not merely "biological animals whose sense of meaning emerge from their nature." We receive our sense of what it is to be men and women from the times and places we are born. By affirming this, Green said, one does not render biology irrelevant. Rather, biological features help to inform -- but are not sufficient for completely explaining -- the ways that societies define roles for each gender.

Next, Green addressed the question "what is the difference between sex and gender?" Sex is a biological term, signifying the anatomical and physiological differences that separate men and women. Gender, on the other hand, signifies the various meanings, roles, codes, and symbols that society arbitrarily associates with one or the other of the sexes. It is important, Green noted, to make at least a mental distinction between the things imbued by nature and thsoe that are culturally imposed. If we don't, we "run the risk of baptizing arbitrary rules and roles as if they were God's design." We must beware of theological laziness that gives a narrow concept of biology the task of steering our callings and relationships. Perhaps, Green argued, "while typically claiming a self-evident model rooted in nature, we have actually accepted something that is at least as rooted in our times as those we are critical of."

Today, Green continued, there is a conservative obsession with the "imminent demise of America because of the feminization of the church." This concern has definite historical roots. In the early 20th century, evangelicals proclaimed that a weak, highly sentimental so-called feminine version of the faith had poisoned the church. They called for a strong, virile Christianity. Especially disconcerting to these men were depictions of Jesus as the sweet Savior, gentle and soft, "just a woman in a beard." They reacted by describing Jesus as young, muscular, and fiery, with "shoulders as broad as chest was deep," a man's man. Many modern evangelicals continue to support the rough and tumble model of Christian manhood, teaching that the church is endangered because of its "womanly character." Men must come alive because, as John Eldridge says, they have "a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, and an adventure to live."

This view, Green cautioned, presumes there is little overlap in how men and women live their Christian lives. We must be honest and discerning when we speak of how much cultural baggage we bring us when we discuss issues of gender. Whatever our stance, we should agree that it should be rooted in the Scripture itself. Green concluded that Christian theology, then, is an "unnatural act." It is not uncovering "how things are" but a project of crafting a Christian identity.

Dr. Vos then submitted the notion that our socially structured world is full of tensions that we, as Christians, must recognize and wrestle with.

Tension #1: Reading and Interpreting
Egalitarians and traditionalists throw verses at each other whenever the opportuntiy arises. This belies our modernist tendency: a penchant for factoids. Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen points out that since the Bible was written by a variety of authors over a long period of time. She suggests that we understand the Bible as a developing narrative and that we can only grasp when we understand it in terms of its unfolding character. A factoid approach is inadequate. Vos wondered if, perhaps, the point is to pick up the narrative, not rotely repeat what has been done before. Of course, if we are going to do things differently, the qeustion is "how can we do them faithfully? How are faithful in a very different society?

Tension #2: Women and the Family
Where does the traditional family comes from? According to Vos, this is a debatable notion. In his view, it can actually be traced to macroeconomic changes in the workplace, sparked by the 19th century Industrial Revolution. Prior to the 19th century, the workplace and the home were essentially the same. The Industrial Revolution split the male/female and public/private domains. If we accept this, argued Vos, then it seems plausible that the family would continue to change as the work place continues to change. There is an increased ambivalence about where women should fit. But, "when we realize our roles reflect the structures of the world we inhabit, how are we supposed to follow the model in Scripture that is grounded in a completely different social structure?"

Tension #3: Women in the Church
Vos suggested that if we do accept essentialist arguments, it seems that women seem to exhibit those counter cultural traits that seem characteristic of a life led by the Spirit. For example, "gentleness" and "kindness," as listed in the fruit of the Spirit, are generally seen to be more typcially female characteristics. Womens seem to be gifted in things spiritual -- "yet we aren't quite sure what to with their gifts or willingness to serve because it doesn't fit with our idea of tradtiional church leadership."

Tentative Conclusion
The hinge is a matter of faith. Vos pointed to several contemporary thinkers who make some helpful suggestions.

Peter Berger cautions that a quest for certainty can eclipse faith. The chief secularizing argument in all spheres is rationality; as we rely more and more on rationality, we eclipse the spirit of God because we can solve our own problems. In such a world we have very little need for faith because we have edited out all mystery and ambivalence. But, Scripture shows us faith that is exercised in the face of mystery. We must live a life transcending the difficulties by faith.

Robert Wuthnow states, "Christianity does not so much supply the learned person with answers as it does with questions." Our faith leaves people with a set of unescapable questions. Most of Jesus' parables end with a question; it is the question that goes on to stimulate discussion and application. If Christianity sacrilizes the daily life, then living the question becomes possible because they have life breathed into them

Vos concluded with the caution that replacing mysteries with answers ends the struggle and replaces complexity with simplicity. This question of gender and the church requires a response of faith; it not a question we can simply solve and move past. "We can solve, avoid, or live the question. The last requires a life of faith....Faith must contain an element of uncertainty, otherwise it is not faith."

In the end, he offered an invitation to us to not resolve the question of gender and the church.

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February 09, 2006

Serrano's Challenge: What Christians Can Learn From "Piss Christ"

While I think that John Piper makes a helpful theological observation in his February 8th article, I wonder if his application is a bit too simplistic. Piper says:

The work of Muhammad is based on being honored and the work of Christ is based on being insulted. This produces two very different reactions to mockery.

After summarizing the divergent Muslim and Christian views of Christ and emphasizing the theological necessity of a humiliated Savior, Piper gives several modern examples of how the (expected) mockery of Christ continues to this day. I haven't watched or read enough to comment on two of his examples, but his mention of Andres Serrano's "Piss Christ" is a misapplied criticism.

In 1989, the exhibition of "Piss Christ," a nuanced and richly hued photograph described succinctly by conservatives as "a crucifix submerged in the artist's urine," caused an uproar. Piper fails to mention the evangelical response -- in America and abroad -- to "Piss Christ," a reaction that was far from humble, loving, or winsome. Senator Jesse Helms's diatribe on the Senate floor is well known. The Senator declared that Serrano was "not an artist, he [was] a jerk," and railed, "Do not dishonor our Lord. I resent it and I think the vast majority of the American people do too." Large, not always peaceful, protests were staged, museums that exhibited the piece received numerous bomb threats, and the artist himself received violent warnings. The picture was called a disgrace, irreverent, and profane. But, especially now, we Christians prefer not to think about all that.

We also tend to ignore Serrano's own explanation of his artwork. In an open letter to the NEA, Serrano wrote:

The photograph, and the title itself, are ambiguously provocative but certainly not blasphemous. Over the years, I have addressed religion regularly in my art. My Catholic upbringing informs this work which helps me to redefine and personalize my relationship with God. My use of such bodily fluids as blood and urine in this context is parallel to Catholicism's obsession with "the body and blood of Christ." It is precisely in the exploration and juxtaposition of the symbols from which Christianity draws it strength.

Perhaps in our hurry to be "afflicted" and "insulted," we Christians thoughtlessly assumed that "piss" and "Christ" could not be juxtaposed in a meaningful or reverential fashion. Do we really believe that God became man and participated in all the disgusting, filthy, and thoroughly human stuff that makes up our daily existence? If so, if we do believe in a humiliated Christ, then Serrano's work can actually become convicting... even devotional. God Incarnate means God wallowing in our waste. What if this image was not an attack on our faith, but a challenge to those who claim it? What if we failed? What if we, too, have a history of refusing an insulted Savior?

So, yes, Christians have good theological reasons to react differently than Muslims in the face of humiliation. The reality, though, is that our doctrine often does not inform our actions. We, too, have wrongly tried to preserve a shell of honor, even when true grace springs from ignominy.

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October 31, 2005

Ich bin Deustche nicht, but this ad campaign makes me wish otherwise

Since I'm studying German this semester, my ears perked when I heard this NPR story on a new ad campaign to lift Germany's national morale. The ads depict famous actors, athletes, and other German notables, along with the uplifting slogan: "Du bist ____" ("You are __insert famous person's name__").

Digression: I chuckled at the NPR reporter's use of the word "glum." People should use it more often.

The ad copy itself is an exquisite use of rhetorical hyperbole. My German is still too limited to fairly assess the tone, but Google translator and I came up with this:

Resistance and chances are nearly always equal in the balance of life. But you can decide which side wins. Passion weighs more than resistance, and dreams are heavier than stupid prejudices. If you throw everything into the scale, then nobody can stop you.

You are Germany.

Even beyond the literary aesthetics of the ads, I'm strangely fascinated. Regardless of whether or not the campaign has any effect, it takes a certain kind of national history and consciousness to even attempt to motivate an entire nation solely on the virtue of their communal heritage. I have a hard time imagining a "You are George Washington" campaign ever getting funded in the United States. Perhaps it's because, as a nation, we are perpetually the younger sibling, wishing that mom and dad wouldn't remind us that our big sister France has contributed far more to the intellectual canon of western society. An individualistic mindset is hardly receptive to the idea that one should perk up simply because of shared ancestry with Albrecht Durer.

But, hey. Deutschland, viel Glueck!

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October 28, 2005

This Week, I've Read:

And now, I must say, every single one of those papers are less ambiguous, more concrete, or more coherent. Some of them are even all three.

I like my job.

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October 20, 2005

"So I am here with all my resources" or, Outsourcing and the English Language

Noel sent me a great article last week about the joys and perils of outsourcing. Some of my favorite bits were when the author quoted his Indian personal assistants.

I would try to adapt myself as per your requirements that would lead to desired satisfaction
It would be great if you could invest your time and patience on giving thought about his plans. Do revert and let Jacobs know about your suggestions on the same. As you know that your decision would be accepted with utmost respect.

There are a few grammatical errors, yes, but overall it's still within striking range of standard English. And yet, itl sounds...foreign. It's almost as if a thesaurus, an English phrase book, and a style guide for business writing all went on vacation together and came back with a tan and an souvenier shell lei. Word choices are just barely off, edging into the gray expanse of shades of meaning. There's an uncanny sense of restrained effusion, polite hyperbole, or some other unquantifiable mixture pervading the text.

Today, I received my own outsourcing gem of an e-mail.

Dear Elissa Weichbrodt, Thank you for contacting Dell US Warranty Support.

I would like to inform you that the response you received was not a human one but an auto generated one. As soon as the mail hits the server it gives out a response which lacks human touch. As the auto response could not provide a solution, I am here with all my resources to help you resolve the issues you are facing with your Dell system.

As per the mail I recieved , it is clear that the Ac Adaptor and Power Cord has gone bad and needs to be replaced.

"I am here with all my resources to help you resolve the issues you are facing." I love it. I may already be spoiled by someone else's outsourcing...

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September 23, 2005

The Fragile Species (is apparently not gorillas, as previously thought)

“The Fragile Species” -- Frist Center for the Visual Arts. Nashville, TN. Through September 25.

Suspended by a web of threads, a papery, translucent blouse and skirt -- Barbara Yontz’s “Especially Considering Exposure” -- hover at the entrance to “The Fragile Species." The clothes seem simultaneously antique and ethereal: silken and wispy but still yellowed and brittle. This ghostly heirloom, with its secret and surprising origin, is a prime example of the ways that this show, at its best, is simultaneously confessional and reticent.

The exhibition sets out to contemplate “human frailty,” and the approaches range from intimate self-disclosure to whimsical flights of fancy and ironic comments on greater humanity’s finitude. The works are grouped into five rooms, and each room is prefaced by curatorial texts that introduce a common thematic element within the smaller gallery.

The pieces in the first room revolve around trauma, both emotional and physical. Erin Hewgley’s “Use It,” a latex sculpture of an inverted, headless, armless torso, is among the most striking. Meticulously rendered, the classically beautiful figure grows increasingly difficult to view as signs of violence and damage become more apparent. The limbs, hips, and head seem to have been ripped away, leaving raw, dripping edges and grotesquely crumpled stubs. The pain communicated is poignantly authentic, and, after reading that the artist herself was a rape victim, it becomes even more specific.

Barbara Yontz, whose delicate skirt and blouse hang at the beginning of the show, has two other pieces further into the exhibition. These forms are more evocative than representational and are fashioned from the same papery substance -- a material which, we are now told, is actually hog intestine. It’s an unsettling connection: the exquisite gossamer concoctions suddenly tie us to animals, to bodily functions, and to death.

Some of the most captivating pieces cluster in the exhibition’s final room. Lain York’s “Fing” is a gorgeously textured, layered painting that melts colors, symbols, and features into a “mask” that recalls African tribal crafts but also resonates with the contemporary viewer. Billy Renkl collages miniscule square fragments of maps into silhouetted children’s profiles, turning national borders into an outline of innocent features. And Mark Hosford’s brilliantly colored silkscreens are so visually entrancing that they have little need for their accompanying texts. The graphic, dynamic figures within could tell as many stories as the viewer can imagine.

Generally, the show boasts an arresting visual presence; many artists seem fixated on the possibilities of texture, and others use scale as a semantic ally. Thus, despite the breadth of media and presentation, the overarching aesthetic weaves the pieces with each other and with the undeniably intriguing theme. Unfortunately, the theme of frailty occasionally – and ironically – becomes a bludgeon, as the visitor is confronted almost constantly with texts that precisely spell out how the work “should” be interpreted. By giving primacy to the artists’ statements of meaning rather than descriptions of process, the individual placards run the risk of being irksome or, worse still, repressive and didactic.

While the exhibit aims to “explore” life’s transience but the human spirit’s resilience, it’s interesting to note how uncomfortable these artists seem to be with this human condition. The notion of frailty is embodied as something fascinating but fearful, a reality that is unquestionable but also undesirable. Even so, the range of optical pleasures left me delighted that my material body can see and feel, small and vulnerable as it may be.

(Read the extended entry for more descriptions of individual pieces)

Continue reading "The Fragile Species (is apparently not gorillas, as previously thought)"

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August 31, 2005

For William Carlos Williams

poem.gif

-- a "found" poem in the ENG 114 syllabus

Keep reading to see what we're really talking about today...

Continue reading "For William Carlos Williams"

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August 17, 2005

You Can Provide Covenant Students With an Alternative Viewpoint!

Let us briefly return to those hallowed halls of learning: the English department.

Kate Chopin's "Story of an Hour" (1894) is a compact, pithy tale that takes a couple of minutes to read but can provide disproportionate amounts of discussion. In my brief stint as a substitute English professor, this story is supposed to be used, among other things, as an example of how a reader's values and assumptions -- in this case, attitudes towards marriage -- insert themselves into literary interpretation.

While this is a true and helpful observation to make, a problem arises when you realize that the Covenant classroom will be fairly homogeneous: young, unmarried Christians, mostly white, and many of whom share strong and specific ideas about marriage.

If you care at all about broadening young minds -- or at least satisfying my own curiousity -- read the story and tell me this: did you find Mrs. Mallard to be a sympathetic character? Is she a selfish monster or a victim of society? Are those two views mutually exclusive? How -- if at all -- do you think your own age, gender, experience, religion, social background, etc. influences your response?

Even if you don't respond, you should still read. Chopin's a wonderful writer, with a distinctive voice and viewpoint that did not garner acceptance, much less praise, until decades after her death. Two minutes to read a story that will introduce you to an important proto-feminist? This is a high return of culture points.

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August 15, 2005

The Internet Spoke, and It Said That Christopher Walken is Running for President.

The internet tells me that Christopher Walken is running for president in 2008. According to a press release on the"official" Christopher Walken for President 2008 campaign website, the actor announced his intentions at a private conference last week. Because of current filming obligations, the campaign will keep a relatively low profile, possibly until early 2007. Walken's agent says that there are no plans for "going national" with the news in "the immediate future."

Okay, so, actually it's part of an elaborate prank by an online forum (or so says a Christopher Walken Fan Club!). But, let's be honest. Questions of authenticity aside, this is fun!

First, you have the initial reaction. How do you feel about a man renowned for playing psychologically troubled characters sitting in the Oval Office?

Then, there's the sweet recursive nature of the acceptance-and-suspicion of both traditional and online media. At least on some level, this hoax perpetuated its aura of believability because of bloggers' recent success in one-upping newspapers and television news. The pranksters used this blog-as-a-news-source explosion to their definite advantage. As I write this, "Christopher Walken" is the number two search on Technorati. Still, even with over 5,000 blogs (both believing and disbelieving) posting about our newest presidential candidate, my reflex was to Google the news, looking to find affirmation or denial of the claims from a traditionally-accepted source.

And, finally, there's the stylistic delight of campaign writing. I love good political copy:

Choice quotes include Walken's agent, Toni Howard:

Mr. Walken has greatly admired the celebrities who have entered politics and he wants to be able to give a good name and reputation to the acting community as well as the political community."

As well as from the brief online bio:


Having residences both in rural Connecticut and upper-west Manhattan, he sees that all walks of life are becoming disgruntled and apathetic towards the American government, and feels a duty, as a child of the American public, to restore the peace, prosperity, and greatness of the United States.

And the man himself, explaining why he wants to be a politician:


That is what I love to be, a man of respect and love

The lesson to be gleaned from this fiasco is clear: having your high school civics class create fake presidential campaign websites would be a fantastic group writing project.

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August 09, 2005

Writing Center Adverts, II


Rewriting is like scrubbing the basement floor with a toothbrush.
-- Pete Murphy





The Writing Center.
We have toothbrushes.

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August 08, 2005

Continuing the Most Brilliant Writing Center Advertisements Covenant Has Known

I will lure them with snobby wit.


"I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you
because someone has printed gibberish all over it
and put your name at the top."
-- English Professor (Name Unknown), Ohio University





The Writing Center.
We protect typing paper from injurious gibberish.

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August 01, 2005

Opinion Anorexia: The Lure of a Low-Calorie Intake of Alternate Perspectives

If you've been keeping up with The Husband's blog, you've probably read his response to Doug Phillip's essay "Harry Potter and the Lavender Brigade." You may also have read the responses that Doug himself received. And if you did all that, then you probably, gentle reader, noticed the paucityof disagreement from his readers. The choir answered in soaring tones with resounding "amens."

Not that it comes as much of a surprise.

After all, you sign up for e-mail newsletters from people that you trust; you subscribe to magazines that interest you; you buy cd's of lectures from people you respect. When it comes to our money and our time, we often (and I might say understandably so) equate "stewardship" with a strict information-consumption diet of conservative media and a few carefully-chosen Christian commentators. But even within the Christian sphere of cultural-analysis there are a slew of choices, ranging, perhaps, from Doug Phillips-like folk on the vanilla end, World Magazine and friends in the strawberry section, and Relevant Magazine holding down the chocolate. So I like chocolate. I buy chocolate. I don't buy vanilla. Makes sense, right?

It makes so much sense, actually, that I'm fairly confident in suggesting that your run-of-the-mill evangelical is not the only or prime culprit. Opinion anorexia affects all political, religious, and moral persuasions. It's in our nature to desire affirmation. With the constant spray of information shot at us each day, it's simply easier to read people that you feel like you can wholeheartedly trust. There's even, as Richard Posner recently posited in a New York Times essay, economic reasons for the growing movement away from the middle and towards the ends of the political continuum.

Of course, our prediliction for a certain course of action hardly makes it right.

The point of all of this reading should be to fufill at least a three-fold calling:

  1. a calling to be humble; to recognize my own blindness and the vanity of ever believing that I have attained whole truth
  2. a calling to be a culture-maker; "subduing the earth" can only happen if we engage the earth
  3. a calling to be a student of theology; that means reading the Bible itself, not just what other people say about the Bible

And that leaves me with a bundle of questions. I read the New York Times, Salon, and Relevant and listen to NPR; does active humility mean thoughtfully reading Vision Forum as well? (Yech. It's easier to read to my left than to my right.) If I believe that multiple perspectives are an invaluable resource, then how do I encourage other friends and family to consume a multi-course media meal? How do you write and speak with conviction, while encouraging your audience to sift you with the Word of God? How do we consume a hearty, ranging diet of opinions and analysis that strengthens instead of bloats us?

I don't know. But I don't think a skinny mind will do.

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July 26, 2005

The Day I Forgot How To Drive

My troubles began on my drive back from Ft. Oglethorpe. As I pulled up to the stoplight by Wendy's I was startled to observe a patrol car, blocking both lanes of traffice across the intersection, lights flashing but siren mute. As our light changed to green, the police car aligned itself properly in the right hand lane and drove off, silent lights spinning.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the road, an 18-wheeler, flanked by smaller sedans, was slowly pulling back onto the highway from the shoulder. In fact, wholesale dis- and re-placement seemed to be rippling down that side of the road.

Vehicles in the east-bound lanes were acting a little peculiar as well. The police car, instead of speeding off importantly, persisted in hovering between lanes a ways up. Uncomfortably, I realized that my left lane companions had quietly evaporated, presumably to join the more august right lane. Some had their hazards blinking, some didn't. All were moving with impressive torpidity.

By now, the Jetta and I were crawling at a mortified pace, but feeling vulgar and out of place, the clumsy fat kid who missed a dance lesson and now can't keep up with the new choreography that the teacher introduced in her absence. I kept checking depserately over my shoulder for the cars in the right lane to split, permitting my offensive particularity to dissolve in their ranks. Peering ahead I failed to see signs of construction, an accident, or some major apocalyptic event that would incite such a whole-hog dismissal of all normal traffic procedures.

Zombies. Maybe it was zombies.

Or...blast.

A niggling memory suddenly burst into my increasingly agitated consciousness: a fellow Covenant student saying something about people in the south showing respect by pulling off to the side of the road when a funeral procession passes...

The police car cut in front of me, the officer thrusting a hand up in the air in exasperation. The right-lane nobility, observing me thus chastened, condescendingly pulled aside their silken skirts and I sqeezed in hastily, cheeks burning, sure that I had just managed to singlehandedly offend every vehicle on a three mile stretch of road.

An existential crisis endured and a milestone cultural lesson learned: my island training in the ways and rules of locomotion are not adequate for handling the complex social road rituals of the south.

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July 20, 2005

Outside the Kitchen Window, a Thunderstorm Begins

A fat raindrop falls.
The precariously perched
Hummingbird tumbles.

Continue reading "Outside the Kitchen Window, a Thunderstorm Begins"

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July 18, 2005

Noel and Elissa in the Looking Glass

When Noel and I set out for a twilight jaunt last night, our plan was simply to walk over to Tennessee Avenue, swing around the loop that we assumed Seneca Avenue and Fidesah Way formed, and then head home. We didn't realize that the moment we began walking up Seneca Avenue, we had pushed through a Lewis Carroll-esque looking-glass.

Old homes -- some in need of repair, most well-maintained -- either peeked out from behind tangled gardens or loomed above us, perched on the hillside with steep narrow steps leading to the front doors. As we crested the first hill we noticed another green street sign, crammed tight with white letters. There's an "Edelweis Lane" in St. Elmo? We hooked around and marched up the steepening incline, past a double-wide that had been converted to a house-with-an-amazing-view, past another perched home with a chimney two times too tall...and then the road stopped. An overgrown, trash-strewn path cut out to the left, but since the sky was darkening, we postponed any off-roading and scuttled back down to Seneca.

The homes began to remind us more and more of the houses you'd see in Lookout Mountain's Fairyland neighborhood. We passed through the newly named "Fidesah Way" intersection and kept climbing, Seneca rearing up into a long, slow hill.

(Keep reading to learn about the Volvo heaven, the Lookout Mountain clone, and absurdities on the walk home)

Continue reading "Noel and Elissa in the Looking Glass"

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July 15, 2005

Honesty Through Imitation

(Referenced artists or artworks open in another window. Click away, seeing is crucial.)

Roberta Smith of the New York Times has an excellent review of the Richard Pettibone retrospective currently at the Institute of Contemporary Art in Philadelphia. The 215 pieces shown are a kind of postmodern ode to modernism and all fit somewhere in the realm of derivative art.

Mr. Pettibone makes perfectly detailed and accurate copies of great modernist paintings and sculptures...scaled down to pocket size. Little Warhol soup cans, Marilyns, and flowers. Tiny Duchamps. Wee Mondrians. Some miniscule versions stand alone as completed pieces, while others are layered and combined together like mini modernist fruit tarts: Stellas on top of Lichtensteins.

Mr. Pettibone knows his modern art and references to other artists and artworks are layered thickly. The stacked triplicate copy of Warhol's soup cans is also a reference to Jasper John's "Three Flags." Armed with a familiarity with American modernism, the pieces rocket from being small, cute replicas of vaguely familiar icons to being a witty and personal interaction with a beloved subject matter.

Ms. Smith offers the reader a helpful -- and I think accurate -- apologetic for appreciating Mr. Pettibone's derivative art as original and valuable:


Mr. Pettibone is a connoisseur and careful explorer of the chief wellspring of art-making: the simple love of art. His work makes transparent the complex mixture of discernment, admiration, and competition that spurs artists to make something they can call their own.

She concludes:


[Pettibone's art's] emotional wisdom for the artistically inclined is bracingly clear: love art, love yourself, do what you have to do and what only you can do. Utter honesty is the only path to originality.

And, in case you were wondering, the answer is "no." What the Chinese are churning out is not derivative art. But we can discuss that later...

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July 05, 2005

Cut & Paste: Christianity Meets The Mash-up?

The Husband's latest issue of Wired has The Gorillaz on the cover and a chunk o' fun inside devoted to "remix culture." At this point, "remix culture" might be a rather tame title for the footloose frenzy of sampling, fan-edits, and unpretentious appropriations that are appearing on blogs as bootlegs and in museums as masterpieces. Today is not a good day to worry about recurring bouts of deja vu.

Though announcing, "mash-up, discuss!" could spawn countless conversations in innumerable directions, I just want to wonder about one thing: what could a theological framework for derivative art look like?

Continue reading "Cut & Paste: Christianity Meets The Mash-up?"

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